Home > Uncategorized > Back Home, Re-focus, Grace

Back Home, Re-focus, Grace

For anyone who’s interested in what’s happening… I wish I can blog everyday to write out my thoughts.

Anyway, here’s some updates on what’s going on after my birthday’s explosive saga (posted and sent to selected people only). The agenda was just to let them know how I disappointed I was, going through stuff by myself and not having anyone I used to call friends at my side when I’m passing through challenging times. I think I’ve just made the situation worse by the sudden ‘post’ I sent to them after not hearing me for like 2 years plus.

While I was not at all expecting anyone to reply, things had changed. I don’t know if it’s God’s timing and all that. I believe it was probably divine intervention (I still believe that could be the smallest ‘miracle’ that I’ve ever had after I left). After some discussion, sharing and almost-came-to-my-tears, I decided to “give God another chance” to change whatever that I think is necessary.

I went back to church last Sunday.

It was the 22nd anniversary in church, thus the whole service was longer than usual. Upon entering the hall, I was pretty amazed how big the hall was getting. Although it was the place where the thrice-a-year IT show was held, the atmosphere was totally different. Probably still in a shock, I had to take some time to adjust that it’s a house of God that people come and worship Him every weekend.

Anyway, other than all the not so familiar new songs and performance, and the ultra-wide screen, my greatest reflection would be when Dr Yonggi David Cho, senior of the largest church in Korea, came to share the Word of God. That was when, when the Word of God was preached, my heart was stirred much.

His main message of vision – by whom the vision is given, and how it can change my life, really spoke to my heart that Sunday morning. Although halfway through the sermon I began to feel a bit listless, I managed to grasp some of the points that he preached. God changes our lives when our visions are given by the Holy Spirit.

While that was preached, I had suddenly came into remembrance, that I still have things to do the Holy Spirit has given me. I don’t know the time, but I know that God is calling me back to finish His task handled to me. I need to receive His Holy Spirit to finish His work.

But I was disheartened by this message, because while I wanted to hurry things up, and wished that things would bring to pass as I had wished, it isn’t much so. In fact, due to my previous mishandled mistakes, I have to deal with this ongoing aftermath, and now it’s been delayed again. I casually asked God if He could just “take this cup away from me”, just like Jesus prayed.

However, I saw a link posted by my ex-Secondary school teacher, who is a believer, “When God’s Timing Is Taking Too Long“. That kind of answered my question – plus, I was reminded that people in the bible seemed to be waiting a little longer than I do. Thus, I’m quite glad about that.

With that, I need to re-focus on what is really important to my life – and above all, love the Lord with all my heart, and loving my neighbour as myself.

Loving my neighbour as myself. Very softly, I hear this words – I cannot love when there is un-forgiveness in my heart.

This is some kind of challenge and never ending lesson, as I ranted about my family disputes and all those not-so-nice events that took place.

I’m now praying for much grace. Obviously, I am not God, so I need some time to take away all those “rubbish” in my heart. Just to make it right and move on.

God’s ‘soon’ and my ‘soon’ is not the same thing! When you have a forever (God), everything is ‘soon’!

-Joyce Meyer

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. August 22, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Keep walking!

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